Misperceptions that kept me in depression and suicide ideation:
1) I thought I was my mind.
2) I thought I was the depression.
3) I believed depression’s voice in my mind.
4) I believed depression was hopeless and permanent.
5) I thought I was totally dependent on other(s) to manage the depression (Doctors, therapy, medication)
6) I believed there was no person to talk to who could understand my anguish. I was alone.
7) I thought going to church and practicing my faith was sufficient. Critical needs discovered post hospitalization as necessary for depression recovery:
– to live life in a holistic approach (physical, social, psychological, and spiritual)
– to know I am not my mind or depression’s thinking so detach
– to know diet affects depression; exercise, lower stress, avoiding fatigue is critical
– to know I am the only one responsible to choose to live, and to choose to live life differently
– to see depression objectively; an enemy I could resist. *Key step.
– to own a power within myself to change. I am not helpless.
– to know I could quiet my mind through meditation, breathing.
– to realize my brain doesn’t know the difference between actual events or my imagination
– to choose a higher consciousness or way of being, a higher thinking
– to know others cared
– to talk to others struggling with depression and suicide ideation
– a support group with a mindset toward recovery and hope
– to connect with a Spiritual Director or knowledgeable pastoral person to consider “soul” wounds.
– to have a non-negotiable “strategy for living” different than depression’s way.
– to know recovered persons
After a total surrender to God and making a ‘covenant’ to persistently resist suicide ideation as an ‘enemy’, I never again reached planning a suicide. It took time to gradually discover and live out the ‘strategy for living’ as a spiritual way of life. Through free-will and conscious contact with God, I ‘backed out’ of suicide ideation, anxiety and negative thinking. Very gently my Compassionate Helper did for me what no other human being, including myself, could do. In 2010, I had a spiritual experience and I never again fell to depression. I was completely free of 50 yrs. of clinical depression and suicide ideation! My purpose? “Add the spiritual dimension for managing depression and recovery.” Life’s meaning? Live it. Share it. Peace.